Why do they hate me?
People often experience hostilitythe outside world, and any psychologist can confirm that with the problem: why everyone hates me, he is drawn to a lot of patients, regardless of gender, age and even social status.
However, hatred is a strong enough feeling, andin fact, not so many people are able to experience it constantly, especially to a person who, in essence, is not important to them. And if someone is not well treated at work, avoided or ignored, jokes or frankly touched, if he does not feel support from close people, then it's still extremely rare about such a strong feeling as hatred . As a rule, in most cases, the question will be much more relevant: "why it seems to me that they hate me", rather than the question of why they hate me.
Problems with self-esteem
In most cases, the surroundingreality is a reflection of our own attitude towards ourselves and self-perception. And if a person feels uncomfortable with other people's society, if for some reason he considers himself to be worse than others, if he subconsciously forbids himself to be happy, necessary and loved, he will build relations with the people around him, which directly or indirectly will serve as confirmation The fact that he really is not interesting to anyone and is not worthy of a good relationship.
A person can change the circle of communication, change the placeresidence, work, study in order to start a new life, find those with whom he can build new relationships, but wherever he comes, everything will repeat according to the same scenario. Because it is not the external circumstances that need to be changed, but your inner self, your self-esteem and your self-perception.
How to increase self-esteem
It is hard internal work, whichimplies the search for the reasons for low self-esteem, starting from the earliest childhood, it is necessary to remember all the traumatic moments when you seemed to yourself worse than others, when you were ashamed of your failure, when you felt negative feelings when you were tormented by guilt. Overestimate these moments from the point of view of an adult and self-confident person, think about whether you really were so bad that you deserve hatred, first of all, from yourself.
Remember those moments when you hadthought about why, why do everyone hate me? Were the people around you showing hatred to you, or did you simply project your own attitude towards yourself? Learn to understand yourself, to see and adequately assess your dignity and forgive your shortcomings, and to see the virtues and forgive the shortcomings of other people.
Hatred and love
The second problem, connected with the fact that a person seems to be hated, can arise against the background of love dependence.
Love, or as it is also called, emotionaldependence, it is the need for communication and relationships with a particular person. From normal loving or friendly relations, emotional dependence is distinguished by the fact that it is one of the destructive, that is, self-destructive ways of filling the inner void.
A person seems to dissolve in his objectpassion, he needs to be constantly beside him, and he perceives any obvious or imaginary inattention or neglect as an insult. It is from people who are addicted to love, for every trifling matter, you can hear discussions about the topic of why she hates me?
Love dependence is very different fromlove, especially because it destroys personality. A dependent person sacrifices his time, strength, finances and even health in order to be close to the subject of his dependence. He has a narrow circle of vital interests, he feels euphoric when he is near, and is depressed if he is separated from his beloved or beloved.
In the end, the subject of sighs beginsAvoid contact with your admirer, as it becomes too painful. This is the reason for new suffering and worry about why he hates me. A person who is deprived of the opportunity to see and communicate with the object of his love addiction suffers very much. It is possible to stay in a depressed state or even attempt suicide.
Unfortunately, with love addiction is very difficultwill manage independently, the person himself, and often his surroundings, take pathological dependence for strong and beautiful feelings. A good indicator in this case can be the factor, whether these relations are destructive for the person, and if they are, then the specialist's help is needed, not only to help cope with the current state, but also to learn how to build constructive relations based on reciprocity.