My husband does not work, what should I do?
The family model was formed thousands of centuries ago. It is simple and everyone knows - the wife in the family should be the mistress and the mother of the children, and the husband is the head of the family and the breadwinner who earns money and provides a reliable back to the whole family. But, in our days, alas, much has changed. Now you can easily meet the following situation in marriage: the wife brings up children, regularly runs the farm and works around the clock, but her husband, on the contrary, sits at home and does not intend to go to work. The husband does not work, what to do in this case? Let's look at several reasons for this embarrassment, and we'll figure out how to get a man to regain his status as a worker and a reliable member of the family.
The husband does not want or can not work
Naturally, the situation, why the husband does notworks, maybe a great many - retired from work, reduced at the enterprise, became disabled for health reasons and simply, being under the influence of depression, does not want to get a job. Of course, many women look at such tricks of the spouse in different ways. Some people are quite happy with this moment in their life together, because in this case the wife has the opportunity to realize herself at work, to make a career and become a successful business lady. Well, what's wrong with that? Wife - actively working, and the faithful husband is engaged in housekeeping, goes to the grocery store and brings up children. Yes, there is nothing bad, if such a distribution of responsibilities in the family, quite suits both. As they say, peace and love, these harmonious relations in the family.
But, more often than not, the situation of a non-working husbandmany wives annoy and disgusts. This happens when the spouse in principle does not want to settle for any job, but waits for something special - with a huge salary and career take-off. Here, as they say, you can wait all your life, and the spouse will "work hard" and grow old ahead of time.
If from the time when the husband does not want to work,passed, at least, three or four months, then there can not be a frank conversation. It is necessary to sit down with two spouses for the so-called "negotiating table" and find out all that prevents the husband from returning to the status of the getter. After the conversation, it is worthwhile to wait another month and if the changes in the work activity of the spouse did not happen, then the spouse is alone, or with the children, to live separately. The husband should realize the seriousness of the situation and start providing his own living independently and without the help of his wife.
How to help find a husband's work
Sometimes, the reasons for a non-working husband lie in hisnatural modesty, shyness and infantilism. The same happens, but if a woman chose herself as such a man, she knew what she was originally about. Therefore, now she should help her husband find a job - through friends, friends, the Internet and through ads in the newspaper. If the wife sees that the spouse is happy to perceive her help and, the same is actively connected to finding a job, then the couple on the right track. And, if the search for a workplace is obviously delayed and the man, in fact, does not like anything and he does not like anything, then his wife should think about it - was not she doing all this in vain? Ultimatums, of course, measure extreme and not quite pleasant, but without them sometimes you can not do. Therefore, if the spouse has been lying on the sofa for a long time and is not going to slice in the next five years, then let everything remain in its place - the husband on the couch in his apartment, and let the wife live quietly and independently in another house.
How to make her husband work
In our time, there is often such a situation- an adult woman marries a rather young man, who is ready to provide at least until the old age. In this family, everything was initially decided - the husband is in the role of an alfonso and lover, who delivers spiritual and physiological comfort to his spouse. The question is - how to get your husband to work - in this new-born family is not worth it at all, because the husband is happy with everything, and she is ready to take on herself the share of the breadwinner and "purse". Many wives, in such cases, find easy work for their spouses "at home", on the Internet or give them the opportunity to realize themselves creatively, hovering in their dreams and fantasies.
Correctly speak - love of evil, love andidle. Here everything is clear, as a white day, the wife so adores and worries her husband, which allows him, practically, everything - not to work, sit around her neck, change, walk and do not bother searching for a job. In such a situation, the spouse may wish not to reduce the working tempo, otherwise, her faithful will eventually find herself a more hardworking and faithful "horse" that will provide such a drone before the old age.
There is only one situation, which, one way or another,justifies the status of a non-working spouse. The spouse-invalid not on the will is compelled to sit at home and to help the working wife with small casual earnings. But, even at this difficult moment of married life, real husbands can not sit "on their neck" with their wives and children, but try to find a job that will bring at least a minimum income to the whole family.
So, the husband does not work, what to do in such caseswife? Throw him outside? It can be cruel and, at times, too reckless. Go to meet him and indulge his laziness? It is worth considering the issue individually. Agree that there are no desperate situations! Therefore, to make any decision is best not hurrying up and necessarily together. By the way, today very many people turn for help and support to professional psychologists. There is nothing to be shy here, because in such a piquant situation, each of us can turn out to be. From the side, a lot of problems seem different, so solving them together with a specialist is a wonderful decision.