How to share your dreams: dream groups
For many primitive peoples, the story of their dreams is an important event of the day. Often, everything that happens during the day is determined by the content of the dreams of the previous night. But in our society, dreams and stories about them will not give you a place in the stands. Therefore, you yourself need to find ways to listen to you. Many create dream groups for themselves, while others prefer to share dreams with close friends or lovers.
How to share your dreams?
There are also such people who believe that dreams should either be kept with them, or they should be shared only with a doctor. This is probably partly due to the Freudian assertion that our dreams contain dangerous impulses that can drive a decent society into paint.
How to tell about your dream?
So, you decided that you want to talk about your dreams. But if you have disturbing dreams about your mother, you may not want to call her and tell her about it.And if you had an erotic dream about your neighbor, it would be inconvenient for you to tell your partner about him and, perhaps, you will not exclaim when meeting this neighbor: “You know what I dreamed about you!”
Well, with whom do you talk? Honestly, it would be best if you share your dreams with people you trust, who can keep secrets, who see some meaning in dreams and listen to you with interest.
We know that there is a group of friends who stroll together every morning before work. They have been doing this for five years in a row. In their half-asleep state, they talk about their dreams of the previous night in much the same way as members of other friendly groups tell each other what they did on Saturday afternoon. However, members of this group talk about what they “did” the previous night in a dream.
How to listen to other people's dreams?
We are all taught that it is important to get the fives at school, to make a brilliant contract, to make a witty speech at dinner. And when we start exploring our dreams, this habit of doing everything works as well as possible. We hate to think that our dreams seem meaningless or stupid.We imagine that other dreams are much better, and therefore, try not to compare your dreams with other people's dreams.
Forget about what your more successful, smarter and pretty employee sees in a dream. In fact, you do not know what is happening in the depths of another person’s soul, and even if you know, then you must deal with your own soul. So do it. Work your life and know that there are no right or wrong dreams, good or bad. Sad dreams, dreams of loss can be unpleasant, but this does not mean that they are “bad” or “wrong”.
In the same way, dreams about sports cars and expensive champagne are not “right” or “good.” (Of course they are very funny). If you cannot understand your dreams, it does not mean that they are worse than those dreams whose meaning is clear and understandable.
Creating a group of dreamers
Suppose you decide that you will no longer tell your dreams to your friend, because his dreams always turn out to be more interesting than yours. Perhaps another friend of yours forever interprets your dreams as harbingers of death.It's time to think about how to separate from them.
Ways to create a group of dreamers
There are many ways to create dream groups. First of all, you must decide whether you belong to the number of people who feel comfortable in such groups and which group suits you.
Do you prefer intensive one-on-one communication?
Or do you need other partners?
Do you prefer to share your dreams with a doctor - and only with him?
Do you like to meet your work colleagues after work?
Or the thought of spending the evening in the company of other dentists terrifies you?
Do you like to be in the company of people of different ages or do you prefer people of a certain age?
Are you prone to enter into long-term obligations towards any groups or projects?
Do you prefer short term liabilities?
What are the rules?
The final decision of this question belongs only to you.
Types of dream groups
We can give some tips on how dream groups are created. There are various groups.Some of them are of the same sex, others may be mixed. Some groups are created for artists, others for mothers, philosophers, accountants - for anyone.
When you decide which group suits you best, decide also whether you want to attend this group’s classes all the time or for a period of time. Usually beginners do not seek to enter into long-term relationships. Judging by our experience, groups of four to six people work best. This amount is enough to add pepper to the conversation, but at the same time there are not so many of them to put you to turn around.
Rules for meeting dream groups
At the first meeting with members of your group, discuss the ground rules. It seems to us that three of them are necessary. Set the most important thing: the time of meetings, the place of meetings, how often you will meet and how long your communication will last. Keep confidentiality. It is very important that what you discuss at your meetings does not extend beyond the group. Only in this case will the members of the group feel calm and respect each other.
Set the order of the meetings.For example, will you talk about your dreams at a predetermined queue? Or will you solve this question every time at the beginning of the meeting? Will you have some elder (perhaps a person who has already been a member of some dream group) or will you completely dispense with the elder?
Since you do not want your participation in the dream group to become a nightmare, you should remember that telling about your dreams is very difficult. We kind of flaunt ourselves, and less than anything we want to be condemned or ridiculed. The best way to protect yourself from such things is to understand well that you must keep your feelings under control and express your dreams clearly and clearly.
Montague Ulman's teachings about dreams and dream groups
Many dream groups are based on the writings of Montague Ulman, a psychoanalyst and author of books on psychoanalysis. As a result of his extensive work in creating dream groups, he found that members of such a group need to be in an atmosphere of trust and mutual interest, it is important for them to feel that they are respected here, that their inner world is protected here — then they can safely explore their dreams.
Here is an example of a dream in which we illustrate a possible way of conducting classes in a dream group based on some of the provisions of Montague Ulman. You can use it partially or completely.
“I'm in a boat. Everything is calm around, but there is no sun. I am very hot. I feel like eating and drinking. Then some people sit in my boat. The wind rises and the boat capsizes. I fall into the water. The water is warm and full of bubbles. Suddenly a sea gull pulls me out of the water. ”
The method of the story of the dream
The very first stage of the dream story is ... the story itself. Do not forget to retell your dream in the present tense.
Often the second stage is a request to ask questions in order to clarify the details of the dream better. But if you want, you can ask your comrades not to comment on your story at all: perhaps the dream was so distressing for you that at the moment you can only retell it. If you want to continue his discussion, ask to ask questions.
In this case, no comments should be made regarding sleep (for example: “Wow! I think it was chilly when the boat overturned!”).Questions from group members should clarify various “who?”, “What?”, “When?”, “Where?”, “Why?” (Sometimes) and “how?”. The most correct ones might be: “What kind of boat was it? Sailing? What size? Who else was in it?
The next step will be a discussion of sleep by listeners based on their own experience, but it should be remembered that the purpose of this discussion is to help this dreamer understand his dream, and not drag the blanket over himself. As a listener, you can use three definitions of the feeling that this dream caused you (“I felt fear, helplessness, surprise, when the boat overturned”). Others may say: "We have experienced a revival, excitement and a sense of freedom." Members of your group can decide to get into your dream by retelling it as if it was their own dream. It is likely that the associations of other members of the group may inspire the dreamer to their own associations. At this stage, the dreamer is like a sponge: he or she absorbs the impressions of the group members.
Further members of the group suggest associations expressed by metaphors. For example, a member of a group who perceives a boat revolution as an exemption may say that the waves that turned the boat "carry him".A woman can pick up this topic and say that “passion” reminds her of her romance. Another may add that it reminds her of dancing with Fred Astaire. These associations-metaphors may well spur the imagination and expand the associations of the one who saw this dream.
When the dreamer or the dreamer listens to all the members of the group, they can (if they wish - they are responsible for their dream and the narration about him) tell how this discussion helped him or her to think about their dream.
And, finally, at the beginning of the next meeting, those present could tell if they stopped thinking about this dream, or if the previous meeting helped them understand their dream.
Dreams and creativity
Very often, dreams induce creativity - to poetry, dance, painting, sculpture. The fact that we are not capable of even holding a candle, for example, for Picasso or Dali, stops all our impulses. We are happy if we are entrusted to paint the fence. And the truth is this: the desire to express oneself creatively is not the prerogative of geniuses alone, we also have the ability to create, and this should be fulfilled.
Your dreams are your creative expression, so it’s natural that sometimes you want to convey something creatively. It is often difficult to find words to describe your dream.Try drawing a particularly vivid dream instead of conveying it in the usual verbal way.
Try to curb the desire to become a critic of your own or someone else's art, do not teach how to do it, and do not try to treat anyone with this method. Most likely, you are not an art critic, a teacher of fine arts or a doctor. And yet this does not mean at all that you should not pay attention to the work of other dreamers. Respond to the aspirations of people, listen to the emotions that their drawing or sculpture will awaken in you.
For the same reason, do not shower the dreamer artist with praises. This may arouse in other members of the group the desire to enter the competition. Also, remember that the work shown to you is an expression of sleep. And since we cannot divide dreams into good or bad, we should not judge the works to which these dreams inspire.
If you imagine, for example, poetry, then try to tell about how much it helped you. Maybe the dream was very disturbing, and having written poems about him, you felt reassured.Maybe peace came later when you read your poems to members of the group.
Role Playing: Reviving Your Dreams
If the group puts on a play-dream, it not only makes it possible to translate your dream into reality, but also allows you to change or expand the content of the dream. At the same time, it is hoped that your problems will become clearer and more solvable for you. The dreamer is the director himself, but can also be a performing actor.
In the 1920s, Jacob Lovi Moreno practiced a form of therapy called psychodrama. He developed it as a way by which we recognize and change our “life scenario” and unconsciously lose it anew. Moreno focused his strengths on the dreamer transferring roles in his dream to other people and playing a dream. This form of therapy had many critics, because when it is applied, strong emotions may appear that are unsafe for the members of the group. And yet, if you use it carefully, only in the form of a game, this form of exercise can be very informative.
However, remember that your group is not psychodrama patients, but researchers.Therefore, you can frolic, but manage to stop the events if you yourself or someone from the group begins to experience discomfort. Perhaps this exercise will cause you new emotions, and they will be better to consider already with a psychiatrist. Particularly disturbing and heavy dreams are better discussed with the doctor, and not play the roles.
In order to play your dream, you should tell it to the members of the group, paying particular attention to the details and characters - because you need to captivate future performers! Interlocutors - "actors" - should clarify the dream, but not express personal judgment or interpretation. Their goal is to feel your feelings during sleep and how to fulfill your roles.
You can either assign the roles yourself, or call the volunteers. You do not need to limit the cast to the distribution of roles only to people or animals. In the short dream that we told you as an example, you can find someone to play the wind! Oh, this person will decide himself how to play this role (of course, under your wise leadership): as a ruthless element, playful energy or saving power.
Often the dreamer will stop the actors in the middle of the action to try to take a fresh look at the motivation of the characters. It can be interesting to assign someone (one or several people) to the role of “assistant”. The assistant can come to the aid of the director and become his mouthpiece.
For example, in a dream with a rolling boat, which we talked about above, the dreamer is allowed to ask the assistant how to change the action so that it cools without turning over with the boat. Such a suggestion may be received: people in a boat will send it to the north, to cooler waters. Assisting the assistant will completely change the end of the dream.
Such a suspension of action and playing with a dream will manifest all aspects of the personality of the dreamer, encoded in various characters and symbols of sleep, and it will be easier for her to recognize and recognize parts of her “I” or her own internal conflicts that she does not suspect.
Exercises for your group of dreams
In the same way that you have selected role actors for your sleep, you can ask them to help you draw your dream. Why not portray someone's dream right on the wall? Or let each of the group capture their dream on the wall. Draw bright postcards with different words, for example: mother, blue, open car.Ask members of your group to resort to free association for these cards. Maybe this will help someone to recall a recent dream.
If you do not want to retell dreams or draw them, try something else. Dare to write lyric poems (and someone from the group will pick up music for them), or a poem, or a comic poem. Write poems and put them to music from Beverly Hillbillise.
Games for dream group
Is your group disheartened? Suffering from a lack of dreams? Can not understand what the yellow cup symbolizes? Then, perhaps, she needs an infusion, which is contained in such a game.
Have each group member write a script on a piece of paper. First you should choose simple and unambiguous scripts. Later you can write more complex, or stupid, or strange compositions. Next, you need to fold the leaves in a bag or a vase - and let each one pull out a piece of paper (preferably, so as not to get caught). Create your dream for someone else's script. Let others guess which scenario is yours.
Here are some scripting ideas.
You receive a package.
Your dog can talk.
An elderly couple walks in front of you and does not let you pass, although you have a small child in your arms.
You see 20 people dancing on the moon with your mother.
The cow climbed onto the roof of the Empire State Building.
In sentence 1, members of the group can add some details: how the package looked, what it smelled of, what it was. Someone might add that she arrived in the middle of the night and he was amazed by this. Someone may attribute a metaphorical meaning to a small parcel: "A good one is always a little by little." We hope that at the end of this game, creative stimuli will spur the ability to recall dreams.
The benefits of dream groups
A good dream group will help you learn more about yourself than you think. She will be able to shed light on what seems hopelessly covered in darkness and can not be unraveled. Go ahead and open the windows that separate you from your dreams, and fly. It is very possible that you and your partners in dreams will have a lot in common during this flight.
The main thing you should know about the dream
We have a need to share our dreams, but this makes everyone vulnerable.
The dream group must adhere to the rules that suit all its members, respect confidentiality and control over the presentation of a particular dream.
Dream groups can be of any kind and size, they help you understand dreams and yourself. Sometimes dream groups act out dreams or use some kind of art to convey dreams, such as painting, drawing or poetry.