I am writing about psychology, relationships and life. I share personal experience.
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About the dangers of useful actions

 

 

We all want change. Of course, for the better. And we believe that it is possible to change something in your life only through action. Installations of the type “under a rolling stone, water does not flow” sit firmly in us.

 

Often, people who come to me for a consultation say: “I don’t understand what to do next ... what to do? After all, you need to do something? ”Then I ask another question: is it necessary? So you did something, did it all the time. Now evaluate what it led to? What result? As a rule, to the one that does not suit. Then what is it for, “doing without stopping”? What does this give you? Ask yourself these questions.

 

Here it turns out that behind all this there is often a runaway from oneself.

From their true desires.

From fears to be alone with yourself and see what you don't want to see at all.

Because after that you have to change something.

But change laziness.

For change because the forces are needed, but they are not.

We must do something to find them.

And do it again.

The circle is closed.

At such a moment it is important not to do something differently, and not to start something new at all, but to stop doing it. Just stop talking about yourself in a derogatory manner, gossip. Putting harmful foods and drinks into your body. Stop fussing, talk in vain. Think about how bad things are. We need to stop making unnecessary movements. Stop useless or even harmful actions.

 

Think about what you spend the most time on. Is it really that important? No, I'm not talking about work. We all work, it is necessary. I mean what you do mechanically, without pleasure, sometimes without even noticing. And all this is the strength, energy is wasted.

Here it is important to work out a certain detachment. Launch the internal observer, who perceives what is happening around as a movie. He watches this film and is included in it when it is really necessary. To do this, it is not necessary to switch off from life, you just need to just slow down. While watching, choose from the episodes of the film that flash in front of you that which is actually suitable. Make one but the right action. For me, this is about the accuracy of the choice. Being immersed in the bustle of precision to be almost impossible.

It is not by chance that in Eastern practices, calm contemplation is considered a mastery of the highest level.

What does this give?

Energy The one that is needed for more important things, for new beginnings. For decision making. The energy that your body lacked in immunity, to the joy of what surrounds.

A separate issue is the topic when you want to do something to change someone. I do not get tired of repeating that we can not change anyone! We sometimes cannot change ourselves, only our habits and attitudes towards something.

The most important thing is to stop reacting in the usual way.

It is an emotional reaction that pushes us to further actions, most often ill-considered.

For example, the question of a partner (wife / husband / mother) on the phone “Where are you? What time do you go home? ”Sometimes it can cause such irritation that I want to hang up.

Has it happened to you? Hanging up is already a conflict, with consequences.

The reason is irritation, emotional reaction. But you always have a choice, what kind of reaction to start, irritation or, for example, humor. Or no reaction at all. Actions in all cases will be different. I'm talking about a causal relationship, you catch?

It depends only on you what your actions will be.

We are like birds, we want flight. But the bird, when it does not need to fly, does not flap its wings in vain. If we fly, it will fly specifically, with a view. And we wave.

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